Please Don't Take Offense

After a long weekend, my wife and I put the kids to bed on Sunday night, plugged in a DVD, and plopped onto the couch. I'm not too ashamed to say that we like to watch romantic comedies once in a while. Last night, we watched Definitely, Maybe. Plot: the parents are getting divorced and the father is telling his 9 or 10 year old daughter about his love life including all the sordid details.

Anyway, I got to thinking that I can't remember a recent movie (romantic or not) about a family that actually stays together. We watched the Spiderwick Chronicles the other day and that involves a family that moves to a spooky house because the mom and dad are getting separated.

I know that Hollywood has been trying to normalize divorce for a long time but haven't we gotten the message already? We understand: People get divorced and let's not make the kids feel any worse than they already do. But why do we normalize bad behavior.

At what point, in our culture, will we ever celebrate people who keep their commitments?

Where's My Apology?

Do you ever find yourself apologizing for things you didn't do or when it isn't necessary? What is that? This happened to me twice this week. I had two people rip into me and I end up apologizing to them. I'm not sure what was going on for them that day. Maybe, they were having a bad day or p.m.s.ing or work was stressful and they chose to take it out on me.

I like to keep the peace and I confront (I don't like confrontation) if I have to but why do I say I'm sorry when I don't need to? Is this a sign of weakness? A character flaw?

I'll tell you what isn't a character flaw - admitting when you are wrong and seeking forgiveness. I'll always try to do that.

Come to think of it, neither of the people apologized to me. What is valued when we fail to seek forgiveness? Pride? Arrogance? A product of bad parenting? A product of a society that doesn't take responsibility for its actions and that always thinks it's somebody else's fault? How did we get this way?

Well, I won't hold my breath, I will not lose sleep over this and I will stop whining but I will try to save my apologizing for when it is warranted. I think it will be more meaningful and I also think that it won't feed the pride of those who refuse to apologize when they need to do so. I'm not trying to be mean, I am just trying to be prudent.

One think I will not apologize for is living, working, having strong convictions and passions, being a person seeking integrity, staying optimistic and positive and functioning at an optimal level. That would be a slap in the face of the One who made me.

You are encouraged to join the movement to admit when you are wrong, seek forgiveness, give forgiveness and not to feed the pride of those who won't.

Stay strong and courageous. Peace.

The Things I Say

One of the hardest things in the world is controlling what I say. I grew up with one of the most critical and judgmental fathers in the world. At least, I think he would be in the top 10. He would at least place and maybe even get a bronze. Anyway, after a while it gets ingrained in your brain to always look for faults in other people. I guess it's a result of not thinking much about yourself and trying to elevate by denigrating others.

Well, I don't like it and never have. But still the battle to control the tongue rages on.

Yesterday, I saw that people were protesting the yet to be released movie Tropic Thunder because it used, what they referred to, as the "r" word too much. By the "r" word they meant retarded. The protesters felt that it was offensive to people who are mentally handicapped. Their protest phrase is, "Words Matters" or something close to that.

Now, your first reaction might be to say that people need to lighten up - it's just a movie. Maybe we do need to lighten up a bit but perhaps the protestors have a point - words do matter.

Yesterday, I was also joking with a friend and in the meantime really hurt this persons feelings. I would never want to intentionally hurt my friend's feelings but I did. In fact, I'd prefer to cheer people on. I think it makes for a nicer planet.

Still trying to watch the things I say.