My Dad is a Jerk, a Loser, etc.

It's been two days since Father's Day (it's also the first day of legalized gay marriage in California) and this post is for anyone who identifies with the title of this post. This post is for all those growing up in a fatherless culture. This post is for all those who are living broken lives because their father dropped the ball.

What is a Father anyway? If I had to write a definition for father from my own personal experience it would go something like this: Father n. - a person who lies, cheats, steals, mocks, extorts, hits, yells, abuses his wife (and his second wife and his third wife) and children physically, verbally and emotionally; a person who leaves his seed and abandons all responsibilities and duties for personal gain and desire; a person who fails to teach; a person who only cares about himself; a person who has no idea how to manage his household for the betterment of his family and community; a person who fails to protect and who leaves the faith and life of his children and wife in the hands of the devil; a coward; less than a man.

Sorry, but sometimes the truth hurts because it's the truth.

I believe that sin and evil are passed down from generation to generation (it's Biblical and it's our common experience). I also believe that this vicious cycle can be stopped. We can make a choice as men (some aspiring to be so). We don't have to be like our earthly fathers.

I am not sure how old I was but it was somewhere between 7 and 12 years old when I discovered a different Father. I learned that God is ultimately my Father and that he is a good Father and that He loved me infinitely and without condition (please read Matthew 6). I didn't have to throw the ball perfect or sit perfectly at the table all the time or be mistake free. It was in that moment that I decided that I would fight with everything in me to never be like my biological father. It was a big vow for a frightened little boy. But somehow I knew that if there was a Father who was perfect and just and kind and who loved me enough to sacrifice his own son for me then I could be different.

I could actually love my wife and be faithful to her. I could actually love and teach my children all I know and that includes my faith. There will be nothing left up to chance in my household. I will love my wife and my children with the reckless abandon that my Heavenly Father loves me with and my kids won't have to guess at what God is like and what a healthy marriage is and what it means to be a man or a woman or how to be treated and to treat others. They will learn it because they will experience it. And then, one day, they will make up their mind whom they will serve.

But as for me, and my household we will serve the Lord.

You too have that choice. There is a Heavenly Father who loves you regardless of what your earthly father has done. He is a good Father. He gives good gifts. He is a Father to fatherless.